everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
