WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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