still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
