fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
