Your face is a jimmy john
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
