so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
