i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
