I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
