they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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