theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
