Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
