OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
