For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
