sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
