There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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