toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
