We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
