yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
