You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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