White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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