Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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