um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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