Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
