btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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