can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
