Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
