girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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