Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
