i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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