I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize