Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
