i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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