someone threw a dead crab at me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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