I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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