naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
