i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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