Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
