What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
