rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
