Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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