Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Boobs are out for the taking
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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