covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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