I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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