It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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