i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize