i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
