Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
