how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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