Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry about my life...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
