I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The adults are the big ones right?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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