I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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