If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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